he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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