Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
