the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
