Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
