Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
