so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
