fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Randomize
