i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
