I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
