My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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