It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
