We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
