We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Randomize
