My friends, they love my intelligence
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
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