I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
