last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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