God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
