Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
