Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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