absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
operation have a gay friend backfired
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
