the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
