More tranny stories later!
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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