I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
