he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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