and you said cock pushups were impossible
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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