you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
