I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
