I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
