shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I haven't been this sober since birth.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
this just has baby written all over it
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
