Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
50% drunk capacity currently
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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