...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
