I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
