You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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