Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
