Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Randomize