That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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