No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Randomize
