i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
