just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
