so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
It's official drugs can't kill me
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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