you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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