How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I have post one night stand depression
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
