1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
