he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
my being single is dangerous.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
