so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
