I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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