Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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