This is not my ceiling
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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