please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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