His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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