worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
