i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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